A Woman’s Blueprint for Balance: How Meeting Your Personal Needs is the Key to Creating the Business and Life You Want

by SoniaStringer

Women have been seeking more “work/life balance” for decades and that desire is certainly why so many decide to build a network marketing/direct sales business.   Who wouldn’t love a “job” that gives you a great income AND more time to spend with your spouse or kids, the opportunity to travel, or the flexibility to get involved in hobbies or causes that you enjoy?

Even though this business opportunity is one of the best options women have for creating financial and lifestyle success, many women in network marketing still aren’t feeling that internal sense of balance and fulfillment they hoped for. Why not? They haven’t got their personal needs met – yet. What exactly is a “personal need” and what does this have to do with having more balance in your life?

A personal need, in simplest terms, is something you need in your life in order to be at your best (in other words, to feel safe, loved, or happy). All humans have personal needs, and (depending on how you were socialized in your youth) some types of needs will feel more important to you than others. For example, if you grew up in an environment where money was scarce or things were unpredictable, you may have a strong personal need for “security”.

Until that need gets met in your life, you don’t feel quite at peace. As a child, if you excelled in school or sports and received lots of positive attention in the process, chances are you’ve developed a strong personal need “to achieve”.  If you aren’t achieving in some way in your life, you likely don’t feel at your best. For women, one of the most common needs we develop through our upbringing is the need “to be approved of”.

If you grew up in an environment where gaining the approval of your family and others was encouraged, this would likely be a strong personal need for you as well. So, how are personal needs tied to creating a business and lifestyle you love? Women (and men) are wired unconsciously to do all we can to get our personal needs met.

Even if you aren’t conscious of what your personal needs are, your subconscious mind is making decisions and guiding your actions in an effort to get your personal needs met. (If you were a car, imagine your personal needs sitting in the driver’s seat, making the majority of decisions about where you’re headed next). Please understand, there is nothing wrong with having personal needs, and they can certainly bring about some very positive experiences in our lives.

Our unmet needs become problematic when we don’t know what they are, or how to get them met in more conscious and direct ways. When this happens, our needs become so “hungry” they will sabotage our success and derail us from making choices that lead to a happier and more balanced life. Windup businesswoman For example – I’ve worked with several leaders in network marketing (men and women) who are doing well with their businesses.

They’ve built large teams, are generating multi-6 and even 7 figure incomes each year, and by most people’s definition of success, have arrived.And yet some of these very accomplished leaders still have no balance in their lives. They often work longer hours than they did in their previous careers, and even though they have the option to take a vacation or spend time with kids, they feel they can’t.

There may be plenty of external evidence that points to the contrary, but their personal needs to achieve, to feel secure, to please or be approved of by others haven’t been met on the INSIDE, so they feel compelled to work harder. They are constantly trying to change things externally in order to feel more peaceful internally, but the focus is in the wrong place. Unmet needs are also one of the main reasons many women aren’t experiencing more growth in their network marketing/direct sales business. For example, if someone has a strong personal need to be “approved of” by others, she may find it especially hard to get out and share her business opportunity as the experience of being rejected is too painful. Or, she may find herself not being able to say no to others, or wasting valuable time with the “wrong” people on her team because she doesn’t want to risk anyone thinking badly of her.

Here’s the bottom line; until you know what your personal needs are – having more balance in your life is (pretty much) impossible. Your needs will continue to drive you to overwork, not take care of yourself, put other people before yourself (more than is healthy) and slow down your business growth. Here’s the good news. You can find out exactly what your own set of personal needs are (see link below) and get them fully “met” in such a way they will no longer control your choices or behavior.

When this happens, instead of your decisions and actions being driven by your unmet needs, you’ll start living from your values instead. Your values (which can include elements like connection, courage, fun, adventure, love, contribution, beauty, leadership) are more in alignment with who you really are (where your unmet personal needs KEEP you from being who you are).

When you live a life aligned with your values, you’ll find business and personal success happens organically, and you’ll also experience a profound sense of balance and fulfillment. Instead of struggling to create a business and lifestyle you love, you’ll find yourself accomplishing what you want with a greater sense of grace and ease. Balance is no longer something you strive for, it’s something you live naturally every day.

If you want to discover what your own unique set of personal needs are (and how to meet them so they no longer sabotage your success and lifestyle) – click here to download this free assessment.


magic-words-laptopQuestions or comments on this topic? I’d LOVE to hear them – please post below and I’ll do my best to respond promptly…

And if you want to learn some additional tips to recruit people (without being pushy or feeling uncomfortable)…

… join me for my next webinar training – “The Magic Words to Selling and Sponsoring” – a gift for those of you in the Savvy Women community.

Get more details, save your seat here:  www.TheMagicWordstoSelling.com


Sonia Stringer is a professional speaker, coach, and popular mentor to 450,000 women in the network marketing/direct selling profession.  Known as “The Women’s Business Coach,” Sonia is recognized for her “elegant influencing skills” and her ability to help women sell and recruit in a way that is comfortable, classy, and highly effective.


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